Starting an aged life over

In most of our lives, the perception of senior status begins with eligibility for Social Security and Medicare. In reality, senior status can begin earlier or later. It can begin with a debilitating medical issue related to a longer life. It can begin with the loss of a long term relationship or more. Other issues can complicate the process.

When I am told that I am old, my go to reply is that I won’t be old until I die. Until then I am older than yesterday and younger than tomorrow. Today is what is important.

I am starting this blog because I am proud of my achievements of the past several years. My first wife – Tish – died in 2009. She was an amazing woman, an RN of note. We were married for 39 years and together for 41. I was devastated, began binge drinking heavily. In retrospect I had extreme difficulty separating loneliness from lonely. Loneliness is an emotional state equivalent to depression. Lonely is a life situation, just a fact. A situation without important relationships.

Eventually Wanda and I found each other out of loneliness. It was good for a long time until It wasn’t. I increased my drinking and my passive-aggressive behavior made its destructive appearance. We separated legally in 2018. I went to inpatient alcohol rehab with a focus on depression, for 90 days. When I left rehab I was sober and had processed most of my grieving issues, focusing on all my losses, Tish, son Erich, parents, Wanda. I had some insight into my behavior and a good number of tools to continue to improve.

It was at this juncture that I realized that I needed to live independently and as the saying goes from the Shawshank Redemption, “to get busy living or get busy dying”. I decided to move to Stockton, CA since my daughter lives in Alameda, CA and I couldn’t afford the rents.

So here I am, in Stockton, CA. involved with a number of organizational activities, a hobby I thoroughly enjoy -pickleball – multiple acquaintances, several good friends, and a pickleball loving woman who is my best friend. If you would like to follow my process please follow my blog. Any questions or requests, use the contact page and I will try to respond.