In most of our lives, the perception of senior status begins with eligibility for Social Security and Medicare. In reality, senior status can begin earlier or later. It can begin with a debilitating medical issue related to a longer life. It can begin with the loss of a long term relationship or more. Other issues can complicate the process.
When I am told that I am old, my go to reply is that I won’t be old until I die. Until then I am older than yesterday and younger than tomorrow. Today is what is important.
I am starting this blog because I am proud of my achievements of the past several years. My first wife – Tish – died in 2009. She was an amazing woman, an RN of note. We were married for 39 years and together for 41. I was devastated, began binge drinking heavily. In retrospect I had extreme difficulty separating loneliness from lonely. Loneliness is an emotional state equivalent to depression. Lonely is a life situation, just a fact. A situation without important relationships.
Eventually Wanda and I found each other out of loneliness. It was good for a long time until It wasn’t. I increased my drinking and my passive-aggressive behavior made its destructive appearance. We separated legally in 2018. I went to inpatient alcohol rehab with a focus on depression, for 90 days. When I left rehab I was sober and had processed most of my grieving issues, focusing on all my losses, Tish, son Erich, parents, Wanda. I had some insight into my behavior and a good number of tools to continue to improve.
It was at this juncture that I realized that I needed to live independently and as the saying goes from the Shawshank Redemption, “to get busy living or get busy dying”. I decided to move to Stockton, CA since my daughter lives in Alameda, CA and I couldn’t afford the rents.
So here I am, in Stockton, CA. involved with a number of organizational activities, a hobby I thoroughly enjoy -pickleball – multiple acquaintances, several good friends, and a pickleball loving woman who is my best friend. If you would like to follow my process please follow my blog. Any questions or requests, use the contact page and I will try to respond.